The awkward Kiss

"Hi"

Yes . . . OK.  She's looking at you and not looking over her shoulder as to where her friends maybe, in the one- off thought that I maybe a sleazy person who could potentially spike her drink just to take advantage of her.

"So are you having a good night?" 

"Yeah me too, It's a great night."

(slightly awkward silence)

Quickly say something. Fuck, fuck. It's getting awkward.

"So do you work?" 

Fuck, you're a genius. Keep it flowing.

"Oh, you study, cool. What do you study exactly?"

"Arts, oh yeah, art is cool. I like art. The classic degree for slackers, haha"

I'm so witty. Sometimes I just don’t know where it comes from. 

Hang on. No. That was just a polite sympathy laugh and there goes the head over the shoulder, desperately seeking eye contact from one of her friends. Shit. I'm losing her. 

"What music do you like?"

"The Arcade Fire, they're awesome. I like them a lot to"

Fuck, she's my dream girl. Don't get too carried away. Pull it in. Refrain!!

"Do you want to sit down and have a chat?"

"How about we grab that couch while we can?"

 

Now, how do I sit? In the 50 year old crossed leg kind of way or the more manly ankle on the knee. I don't want her to think I'm gay. I best go the ankle on the knee. Hang on, that’s impractical, the couch is too tight. I'll go the 50 year old gay style. She's an arts student, she'll dig it. But then other guys in the room may think she's only hanging around me because I'm gay, then they'll come in and stir my porridge. That’s not good. Just sit, no cross legs. It's impartial, unoffensive and definately not gay.

 

One hour later:

 

"Hahaha, yeah that David Bowie what will he get up to next"

Ok, things are going really well, do I just go for the number and call her at a later date? No. Be a man, kiss her. How do I do this? She's looking at me and looking away. Fuck, that’s so cute. She wants to be kissed. Do it. How? Ok get close and just go for it. No, that’s too much, too sleazy, be cool and make her kiss you . . . Brilliant.  

Why should it be up to me anyway? No, I can’t, if i leave it to her it won't happen. Aaaahhh!

"So you got friends here"

I'm not even listening to her anymore. All I can think about is kissing her. Do it now. She's midway through a sentence, no, oh fuck it. 

I half lean in, she follows late, as she starts to lean in, I pull away thinking she's not following the lead, but she was. So I then quickly go back in. probably, no definitely, way to quick. Fuck why did I do that? She's still going. Yes. Yes. Here it comes.

I am the man. I am the king, an absolute god of passion. I had her all along. I knew it, and here I am reaping the sweet rewards.